fukkkres:

when ur eating dinner at your friends house

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and their parents start arguing

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and you want to ask for the salt

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but the salt is right in between their upcoming divorce

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04-14 / 22:56 - with ♥ 124,271 notes fromsource
04-14 / 12:04 - with ♥ 475 notes fromsource

cumaddict72:

chekhov:

So this hot substitute logged into netflix and I wrote down the email with which he did it and used a service (it cost like $2) to find all other accounts connected to that email and I found his (private) twitter so I made a fake twitter of a hot girl and added a bunch of tweets over the course of a month to make it look legit and then I requested to follow him and he let me and he is the most goddamn boring person in the world

you need to be arrested

04-13 / 12:42 - with ♥ 136,703 notes fromsource

bueno:

will u still snapchat me when i am no longer young and beautiful

04-07 / 22:43 - with ♥ 519,306 notes fromsource

yourselfandnothingmore:

"talk dirty to me"

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04-07 / 22:42 - with ♥ 116,719 notes fromsource

douchejaune:

Tina speaks to who I am on a very deep level.

04-07 / 22:05 - with ♥ 101,245 notes fromsource

colonelrogers:

gazzymouse:

colonelrogers:

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ON YOUR LEFT

DONT SAY IT

… ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ON YOUR LEFT

04-07 / 10:00 - with ♥ 16,879 notes fromsource

discoccult:

image

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damnit

03-31 / 21:43 - with ♥ 218,909 notes fromsource

killerville:

french girls drink wine naked in the bath and it’s hot, but i drink a case of 4 loko naked in the starfish touch tank at sea world and it’s “probably like 50 felonies, you monster.” whatever, OFFICER

03-31 / 21:30 - with ♥ 54,294 notes fromsource

littlefuryous:

An elegant meal for one, tonight.

03-28 / 12:39 - with ♥ 208,417 notes fromsource
sucksdylan